sad

Roomie is suffering from dementia, and it’s progressing very quickly. When he went through a period of frustration, he yelled at me couple of times, which was not only bad behavior, but it was scary. He’s a big guy who can get loud (tho he’s usually very quiet), but not in any way violent. Still. Personality changes.

Lately, he mostly stays at his GF’s; I heard him tell her the other day that he only feels “safe” with her. (That’s not a dig at me – it’s his own fear.) So mostly now, he comes to do some laundry (GF doesn’t have a dryer or to pick up something he needs.

He was here yesterday, and like the time he stopped in some days back, he was very needy and very affectionate. He’s also cried both times. And has hugged me a good deal, which is nice.

When I moved here, in July 2020, I asked if it would be OK to hug occasionally, since I hadn’t touched another human being in months. So that was nice – it did me some good. We don’t do it often now but we do it some, out of affection. But it’s rare that he initiates it (he’s constantly afraid of doing the wrong thing in all areas of his life).

I don’t think I’ll be an important resource from hereon in, but I’m glad when I can do something. I’ve never really been close-up with someone who had dementia. It’s very, very sad. I cry, too.