Tag: weather

Bad Words on a cold day

Two podcast hosts come across a distance measured in kilometers, and are trying to figure out if it’s more or less than miles. One says, “I don’t know the exchange rate.”

It’s cold. I don’t like cold. Haven’t been out for days, since I also just had several days of bad depression. I seem to be slightly better today, mood-wise, so even tho it’s 11 degrees (windchill -1), I’m going out grocery-shopping with Nabe. I couldn’t talk to anyone for a few days (I like it really silent when I’m depressed), but I do miss him and I know he misses me. He doesn’t have anyone else he hangs out with like we do. I always think about how friendship can be nourishing for me, but I forget that it goes both ways. I figure other people mostly tolerate me.

I’m still very much obsessed with Victor, or rather, his actions. It’s an old long story, but the current issue is that he and his wife have lied to me and told me they are no longer having overnight guests. I don’t know why they have gone sour on me, since they both said it wasn’t personal. Except that it is. They still have plenty of houseguests, I don’t know why I’m shut out, and I can’t visit New York City because I don’t know anyone else with room for guests. (Victor & Sherry’s loft can accommodate seven guests at once.) I gave him a year to come clean (Victor is the one who is my primary friend – we go back to the 70s), and he refused.

I have speculated a lot as to how this came about, tho I’m hesitant to share it because I know it’s made-up stuff in my head. I’m fairly sure it’s her issue and she instructed him not to tell me so or to explain in any way. I’m not 100% sure what her problem is. She’s been both mean and lovely to me.

I’ll feel horrible if I start rehashing the details just now – and there are so many details, being that Victor and I have been entangled for so many years. It’s been way past “pals” since the start. And now it seems to be nothing. And I can’t let go of it because I still don’t know what happened. And mostly, I’m afraid I’ll never see him again, as he’s 20 years my senior, which now puts him well over 80. I would like to have time to reconcile. But if Sherry has indeed found some fault with me, I’ll never be able to go back there, and she’s probably bad-mouthed me to every person in the tri-state area. She’s like that. I know from the things she’s said to me about other people. It’s not good.

Bad Words, and no vacay

Got a lot of Bad Words today. The more I read and watch, the more I gather.

“That’s out of my forte.”

One interviewee (YT documentary) used the words “satisfication” and “infestated.”

“the pilot ascends his helicopter” Another example of trying to use a fancier word and failing.

“It was shredded into pieces.” “Into pieces” not required.

“The wind would prove quintessential.” I think they were trying to say “unique” – it was about a tornado.

Winter storms are pushing in all of the country right now. We won’t get much snow, but we already have a lot of crazy wind. 4 degrees, wind chill minus 15. That’s a nope. I wish I could spend a week, five days even, somewhere warm. I’ve been to the Caribbean a handful of times. I liked St. Croix (spent a day there), Aruba (five-day honeymoon), and Puerto Rico. Ex and I went a few times when we were living together then married. He had good friends who had moved there – the husband was basically a local – and showed us a fine time off the beaten track. I have a real fondness for Puerto Rico.

When I was a little kid and going to public school, I had a lot of Puerto Rican classmates. Most of the Latinos in New York at that time were Puerto Rican. The first crush I can remember was on a little Puerto Rican boy named Fabian, with tan skin and slicked-down hair. So there’s a familiarity to the music and the way Spanish is spoken. I wish I could go there for a week every winter. A warm-weather vacation would set me right.

Even California would be fine, but I haven’t had an invite. BF is now talking about finding a pet-sit for us in this area, for spring or summer. Which I guess is OK, since I really can’t afford to fly there. But spring/summer will be a full year since we last saw each other. Really, I should be dating here.

Kitchen activity in this house is not pleasant during the cold weather. The back of the house – kitchen, laundry room, WC – is not heated. (Neither is the upstairs.) So I have to haul a space heater into the kitchen to wash dishes or cook. I’m putting a little more effort into cooking these days, but it’s a chilly business. But I need to get in there now, wash dishes and make something to eat. Cheese omelet, I think.

Reader

Nabe doesn’t let weather bother him. He’s out shopping today, and asked if there’s anything I need. (He already knew I would not go out in this weather.) All I truly needed was milk, but I also asked for cookies and for broccoli, which cancel each other out. Since I’ve been on Trulicity, an occasional cookie binge will not harm my health or even really spike my blood sugar. (In the summer, it’s generally ice cream.)